I just wanted to share with you the fact that, since my husband is not a believer, although we agreed at the outset to have a large family, he changed his mind after our 4th baby was born.
I’m not posting with the intention of complaining about my husband, just really out of a kind of desperation. After five years of waiting, hoping and praying he would change his mind to no avail, this desire to have more children is still so painfully strong and won’t just go away on it’s own, and my husband’s mind is resolutely against it.
I ran a group for several years called the UK “Quiver-Full” fellowship, the word “Quiver-Full” coming from Psalm 127:3-5
“Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them.”
It was designed to be a place of support and encouragement for those who are allowing the LORD to determine their family size and spacing, and those who are seriously considering this monumental decision.
When believers think of the spiritual armour Paul speaks of in Ephesians 6 (and it’s worth cross-referencing with Isaiah 59), one ‘weapon’ that is generally not considered is “arrows” – most of the armour and weaponry we’re used to fighting with is intended for close combat, but actually, our blessed little arrows are intended for long-range fighting. Have you ever wondered about why the enemy is waging such a desperate, prolonged and appallingly wicked onslaught against children (not just abortion, but all the things that even believers take on board – the myths of over-population, the lie that children of believers don’t belong to the LORD, the lie that children are a burden instead of a blessing)? It’s because he knows something we don’t seem to know – that the next generation of believers are the next generation of the warriors of the LORD, his enemy.
I don’t honestly know what G-d’s plan is for us, and I hardly know what to pray for anymore. I just know that the heartbreak of being denied something that I have desired so strongly for so long is more than I can bear, so if my husband won’t change his mind, I wish the desire would subside.