Messianic for me has been a long, hard and lonely journey. When we lived in the city we had a small (20 people) fortnightly fellowship that wasn’t Torah observant and had no understanding of the concept. Here in the country there is not even a Jewish community for miles. I just can’t do it anymore. I am now worshipping in a tiny little village church of England. (As well as The Salvation Army when I can get there) I don’t agree with everything by far, but I need real-life fellowship.
At this point in my walk as well, I feel as though I have had enough pursuing Truth – I have been doing it relentlessly for 20 years, it has been the essence of my Christianity – and now I want to start pursuing the One who is Truth (if that makes sense).
My experience with conservative Christianity and maybe Messianic even more so, has been that its emphasis has become intellectual and belief-oriented rather than heart and hand-oriented. That’s probably a caricature but I feel as though I have got as far as I can go with the pursuit of Truth.
You *can* only go so far with Truth. The idea that we can have the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth is an illusion. The Truth is bigger than our minds’ ability to perceive it, and we can only ever see it from a limited, human perspective.
So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not hardcore Messianic anymore.
I’ve been exploring Celtic Christianity lately, and in some respects it gels beautifully with Messianic beliefs – there’s even some evidence that St Patrick and the early Celtic saints kept the Jewish sabbath and Passover before they came into contact with the Roman church.
But the Celtic believers were much more grounded and earth-bound than their more intellectual Roman (and even Jewish) cousins. Celtic Christianity was egalitarian, at one with nature, un-oppressive and much more concerned with being and doing than thinking and believing.
So often, Messianic believers discover the beauty of the Hebraic Roots of the faith, but then get stuck in the Feasts thinking that they are the heart of Torah. They’re not. The heart of Torah is love, grace, mercy, justice, lovingkindness. I’m ready for a bit more of that now.