Thought for the day from Chairman Whorlow

When I was at high school (or rather secondary school really, since it was the UK, although the school itself called itself a High School) in the 80s, I wrote a diary pretty faithfully every day in stolen maths exercise books, like a teenage Bridget Jones, but before Bridget Jones was even a twinkle in Helen Fielding’s eye. I’m fairly sure that, had my sister-in-law not thrown it away along with all the rest of my stuff when we moved out of mother-in-law’s house all those years ago (1996?), it would have been a publishing sensation by now.

Since it doesn’t exist anymore except in my faded memory, I can’t give you a genuine excerpt, but I thought I would give you a flavour just for fun, since recent events have propelled my emotions back to the level of a teenager, and I feel pretty nostalgic about the good old days. Actually, school was mostly awful, but I had a great group of friends who made the whole experience a good one.

Each post invariably ended with “Thought for the Day from Chairman Whorlow” – choice pearls of wisdom from one of my closest buddies, Andrew Whorlow, in the geeky/nerdy/not-so-popular group. I think about him a lot because, after school we lost touch, and when I started to look for my buddies again, the Chairman seemed to have dropped off the face of the planet. Nobody I know has any idea what became of him. Perhaps he has just kept his head down, kept a low profile, doesn’t do internet or social media. Changed his name? But I confess to worrying that something happened to him. If you’re out there, Andrew, I would love to hear from you.

And so to the diary…

Today’s Events: watched telly. (actually, I went to Exeter on a day trip, I ought to feel much more enthused than I do.)

Weight: 17 stone 0 pounds (ugh, don’t judge me.) I’m busty, so I can get away with it if I stick my boobs out, but I would prefer to be 10 stone (with the same size boobs).

Food: banana, small pot of tuna & potato, 2 small pizza slices, 2 small slices crusty French bread, butter, 6 slices turkey salami, beer. (Don’t judge me.)

Exercise: minimal (Don’t judge me.)

Who we fancy today: Matthias Schoenaerts, but only with long hair when he was in the film with Kate Winslett. (Kate Winslett was pretty scrumptious in that film too, totally wanted to be her.)


Music: Playing today: BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards (from 2009 I think, but every one I’ve heard is great. Even if you think you don’t like folk music, check out whatever you can of this series.)

Make-up: I’m trying to learn how to properly apply liquid eyeliner to my top eyelids. Every time I try I make such a stupid mess, so I bought some cheating soft kohl sticks which makes it easier but I’m still not quite managing to get the look I want.

Jewellery: I’m really lusting after chunky silver jewellery, and/ or hippy beads. Hardly have any jewellery at the moment. Can’t fit into my wedding ring 😦

Clothes & shoes: I’m really fed up with my fat girl trousers and elephant old lady pants. Throwing them all away and wearing skirts and dresses from now on. (May change my mind tomorrow)

Nice things today: sunshine, warm weather, open windows

Jobs I’d like to try: today I quite fancy being a private investigator. With my own office. In the 1940s.

Changing the world: supporting the Dogs Trust charity rescue centres, who never put a healthy dog down (unlike Battersea Dogs Home).

Thought for the day from Chairman Whorlow: “You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.”


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