Tag Archive | moving house

Karma

Just a quick note to let you know we have moved (or rather are in the process of moving, since we haven’t let the old place go yet, to make moving gradually possible – not the way ‘normal’ people move, I know, but it seems to be the way we do it!)

We have no phone or broadband at the new place for the time being (other than a very patch connection to BT’s openzone hotspots or whatever they’re called. Better than nothing, for sure but frustratingly slow and requiring fresh logins every 5 minutes.

I am, I have to say, unspeakably happy to be away from the previous place. We’re in a bungalow now which is just wonderful. It needs lots of work, but it’s actually ours – we finally own our own home again, against all the odds. (If I have enough signal to upload photos I will).

As chance would have it, the week before we were set to move, my mum – who has bipolar disorder – had a crisis which meant I needed to stay and look after her, and when it became clear that she couldn’t look after herself (possibly due to dementia creeping in there too), I brought her home with me and she moved with us. Terrible timing, but since the bungalow is big and we had a ‘spare’ bedroom, it’s all working out (as well as any story including bipolar can).

From everything I can gather, although the local Psych team were trying to do what they could, it appears that mum’s GP was completely incompetent, so I’m hoping that we can get her a little bit more stable and happier with a bit of TLC from my great new doctor’s practice, and although she is very uncertain about the whole idea of moving, managed to persuade her to register here as a permanent resident so at least then the GP can do some proper investigations.

And, fortunately again, I seem to be quite well right now. Preganancy may have put my ME into remission, so I hope it will stay this way. I had a bunch of unsolicited emails this week reminding me that I should have been 21 weeks’ pregnant this week, but I’m not allowing myself to slip back down into grief and misery. I really don’t have time.

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Progress

kira-progress

I am sorry to have been absent for so long. Life on the Station has been complicated, and hard and painful just recently, and it has been a challenge to keep my head above water. I am trying to surface again now, but we’ll just see how it goes. I’m making no promises.

Summary
Kira has to go to one of Bajor’s moons to evacuate the last remaining settlers so that the moon can be used to create energy for Bajor. The settlers are stubborn and determined to stay, and although Kira begins to connect with the man, in the end she is forced to destroy his home in order to get him safely off the moon.
The sub-plot has to do with Jake and Nog who do a little bit of sneaky trading of Cardassian Yarmok sauce/ self-sealing stem bolts/ land on Bajor behind Quark’s back and find in the end that the apparently worthless piece of land is in fact a crucial piece of real estate that has marriage value to the surrounding land.

Comments
I was surprised this episode came up so early in the series. This is a difficult episode for Kira, because she empathises with the settler and feels that opposing him and forcing him out of his home is a little bit like doing the work of the Cardassians for them, but in the end she must make this painful decision in order to save his life as the energy project will start whether he stays or goes.

I never quite understood why she went about it the way she did. One minute she’s helping him build, risking her career and Sisko’s wrath by delaying, nursing the man while he’s sick when she could have taken him away then easily, the next minute she’s setting his house on fire to force him to go. It seemed harsh. I suppose it was necessary in the end, but I don’t know that I would have done it that way. Land, in the end (it seems to me) is only land. But the house and everything in it could have been saved, moved, transported. Why did it have to be destroyed? It seemed unnecessarily cruel.

In my life
I think about the house I left, and nostalgia comes over me in waves just like grief does. I was never that attached to the place as such, but that house – where my children were born, where we spent all the years watching them growing up, all those memories. My heart aches with longing for it. I know that those times are gone, and even though it is hard, we adjust to children growing up and becoming their own people with their own ideas and interests and plans.

But having the house where it all happened ripped away from me, well that hurts. Maybe Sisko thought that moving away would save my life, or my health, or my sanity. I don’t know. But I think he might have been wrong. The price was too high, and I left my heart in the old country. But I also know that, since we moved away, the house we left isn’t there any more – it was ruined beyond all recognition by the bad tenants to whom we had the misfortune of renting our home. So I have no choice but to move on. ((((But you exist there)))) Yes I do. Perhaps I just need to accept that fact, that my grief and loss is part of who I am now. There is no moving on, just accepting.